Alice live blogs the Canadian GP

Holy crap it’s 4 o’clock in the morning right now and I’ve managed to wake myself up for this.


A warning that I’m currently running on about 3.5 hours sleep so this might not be the most coherent post I’ve ever written. Okie dokie, here goes nothing…

Ahoy Canada! How are we this fine morning? What a potentially exciting race we have ahead of us. Looking forward to seeing some great driving.


Hamilton has held onto 1st with Rosberg and Raikkonen and Bottas all getting very close to one another but everyone holds their starting places of 2nd, 3rd and 4th respectively.

Lap 2: Force India’s Hulkenberg has jumped up a position to 6th.

Lap 4: Vettel in the Ferrari and Massa in the Williams making some brilliant moves as they overtake and make their way through the back of the field.

Lap 7: Sauber’s Ericsson is not giving up 11th to Massa or Vettel behind him. Defending like a champ and giving us a beautiful little battle.

Lap 8: Vettel surprisingly pits and – ooooh dear it’s S  L  O  W. Something has stuffed up big time. Sucks to be you right now.

Lap 10: Gorgeous long overtaking move between Massa and Ericsson. Both drivers fighting for 11th with Ericsson aggressively defending and brilliant wheel to wheel action. Massa takes the place from the Sauber.

Lap 12: Button’s McLaren has moved up into 18th place after serving his drive through penalty during the early laps of the race and Vettel is running 17th. Verstappen’s Toro Rosso is now in 15th after overtaking Nasr in his Sauber.

Lap 17: Hamilton has extended his lead in the Mercedes to 17 seconds to Rosberg, Bottas looms behind Raikkonen’s Ferrari and Massa is flying up through the places into the top 10.

Lap 20: McLaren’s Alonso has no interest in letting Vettel take 15th and there’s dust flying and contact. Massa takes yet ANOTHER place moving himself into 7th.

Lap 21: Vettel gets the job done on Alonso and nabs 15th.

Lap 22: Hamilton has lapped Button, Vettel has overtaken Verstappen, Maldonado’s Lotus overtakes Ericsson. Much overtaking. Very good viewing. Wow.

Aaaaaand my live stream has dropped out. I am too tired and disorientated to fix this but I need to so I’m going to give it a go….

Okay we are back! Here’s what was missed: Ricciardo pits his Red Bull onto super soft tires. Alonso has finally had enough of the McLaren situation and has gotten (understandably) grumpy over team radio. Apparently his fuel consumption is too high. Despite a total lack of power from the car. Not cool guys.


Lap 27: Vettel into the top 10 and chasing down Maldonado in 9th. Raikkonen pits, drama free, rejoins in 4th behind Bottas.

Lap 28: Oh jesus Raikkonen is doing donuts through the hairpin. Crap. Lovely spectacle for the fans but utterly shit for Ferrari. Didn’t he do that last year as well? Maybe he does it as a tribute to Tim Horton.

Lap 29: Bottas pits slowly but it doesn’t matter, he rejoins ahead of Raikkonen in 3rd.

Lap 30: Hamilton pits, then Rosberg pits and Vettel has moved into 6th.

Lap 33: Kvyat’s Red Bull overtakes Verstappen to take 10th and Rosberg is chipping away at Hamilton’s lead.

Lap 35: Massa is now in 5th and he hasn’t made a pit stop yet. What a drive!

Lap 36: Vettel pits onto super softs and rejoins in 9th. THERE IS A GROUNDHOG ON THE TRACK! Oh Canada. He’s fine, the little guy made a run for it and got safely out of the way.


Lap 38: Massa has now pitted and needs to make these super soft tires last until the end of the race. He rejoins in 9th just ahead of Kvyat.

Lap 41: Raikkonen pits again (no spinning this time please and thank you) and holds 4th place. Vettel vs. Hulkenberg scrap under way.

Lap 44: Whoa big old mess of an overtake between Vettel and Hulkenberg. Vettel ensures no contact was made but Hulkenberg spins and loses 7th to Vettel and has Massa overtake him at the same time. Insult to injury.

Lap 47: Alonso is out of the Canadian GP. Disappointing really doesn’t cut it as an accurate description of the McLaren situation.

Lap 49: Potential battle royale in the closing stages between the Mercedes drivers? Much talk of Rosberg attacking and saving his breaks for the final laps and Hamilton saving fuel in order to respond.

Lap 50: Surprise pit stop for Lotus! They did not realize that one was happening. So unprepared. Grosjean literally ran into Stevens Marussia’s front wing and gave himself a puncture. What a twat. He’ll be getting a penalty for that move, no doubt. Grosjean is on team radio acting like Stevens hit him…

gwen stephani

Lap 55: Sainz Toro Rosso overtakes Ricciardo’s Red Bull. Touch awkward.

Lap 56: Vettel overtakes Maldonado and claims 5th. Vettel now racing his teammate ahead but the gap is 12 seconds.

Lap 57: Button told to retire his McLaren. Jesus.

Lap 60: Verstappen’s Toro Rosso is all over the back of Ericsson in the battle for 14th.

Lap 62: The lap between Hamilton and Rosberg is 1.8 seconds, then 30 seconds back to Bottas who is 7.8 seconds ahead of Raikkonen. Vettel trails his teammate by 9 seconds. Merhi’s Marussia retires 😦

I seriously doubt that there’s going to be a change to the top 5 runners at this point. The Mercedes battle speculation was LIES!

Nothing much to report here. Hamilton keeps locking up but it’s not making any real difference. He’s also being told to lift and coast to safe fuel for the last lap? It’s in the bag for Hamilton.

Surprise, surprise. Hamilton wins the Canadian GP followed by his team mate Rosberg. Bottas holds 3rd with Raikkonen having to settle for 4th (thanks a bunch Kimi, it’s not like I woke up this stupidly early in the hopes of seeing you on the podium or anything), Vettel does incredibly well to claim 5th. Stunning drive from Massa to take out 6th, Maldonado 7th, Hulkenberg 8th, Kvyat 9th and Grosjean (aka Crashy McSmashy) 10th rounding out the points.


Okay, thanks Canada for a decent race with some nice action. It was interesting enough to keep me awake for 2 hours and that’s no mean feat.

Now I’m going back to bed…


Spain Qualifying wrap up

Buenas tardes amigos!


After what felt like a somewhat tedious wait we are finally here in beautiful Barcelona to get qualifying under way.

Mark Webber has made an appearance in the paddock and graced as all with his chiselled cheekbones. The man is the Australian prince of F1 and Fernando Alonso’s biggest fan. Ultimate bromance.

The first session of qualifying gets off to a fairly average start. The Mercedes of Hamilton and Rosberg quickly make their way onto the front row with the Williams of Massa and Bottas close behind. Not a great start was had by Ferrari with Vettel locking up and going AWOL and Kimi encountering traffic and lacking rear grip.

Button and Alonso both manage to get their McLaren Honda’s over the line in 6th and 5th respectively, obviously owing to the 2kg paint job improvement. Excellent consumer information: when picking out the paint job for your car consider the weight of metallic flakes. It may look oh so awesome and shiny but it weighs a fucking tonne in F1 terms.


It’s at this point in Q1 that chaos ensues (which I’m obviously kind of stoked about) with Raikkonen putting his Ferrari neatly into second, Vettel following into third until Rosberg charges in to steal the second. Then the stampede of cars crosses the line and mixes shit up. Suddenly we have Sainz Toro Rosso in 4th, Massa in 5th, Bottas 6th, Lotus gets both driver across the line with Maldonado 7th and Grosjean in 8th, Verstappen’s Toro Rosso takes 9th pushing Vettel’s Ferrari into 10th place.

This surprising kerfuffle is rounded out by Ricciardo in the Reb Bull taking 11th, Nasr and his Sauber in 12th, the McLaren in Button in 13th followed by Kyvat’s Red Bull in 14th and home grown hero Alonso 15th.


Commentating legends Crofty, Brundle and Kravitz raise the question: “Is Kimi Raikkonen being treat like the ‘number two’ driver at Ferrari?” This is due to Seb getting access to all the new parts and modifications during qualifying and Kimi being put onto a set of medium tyres that he would have preferred to keep for not only Q3 but also the race. The medium compound will be the preferred tyre for the race. Time will tell how this all plays out for Raikkonen.

After much chit-chat by the delightful British commentators we are ready for the second session.

Hamilton, both the Ferraris and Bottas all put in solid flying laps lining themselves up into the top spots surprising absolutely no one right up until Nico “hundreths-of-a-second-lesser-loved-child” Rosberg romps it into first! Well done you! That sounds condescending. Moving along…

glen coco

Verstappen puts himself into 6th and wedges himself between Bottas and Massa with Sainz managing 8th followed by the Red Bull racers of Ricciardo in 9th and Kyvat in 10th. There’s a brief break in the running of Q2 with the Ferrari and Mercedes teams deciding that’s quite enough of this qualifying business and just leave their cars to chill in the pits and run down the clock. That decision sort of backfires when Massa goes out and takes 4th from Vettel. Sainz moves himself into 8th behind his team mate.

Poor Fernando. No Q3 for his home race but yay for Sainz the Spaniard!

Onto the last round of qualifying and the business end of things. This is where shit got real. Bottas goes W I D E and Raikkonen does a crap time on used tires. They still manage 4th and 5th respectively behind Vettel. Comeback kid Rosberg one again flips the proverbial bird to Hamilton and nails his first flying lap with a 1.24.6. At this point we’ve have Sainz AND Verstappen squeeze Raikkonen out and down into 7th leaving 8th to Kvyat, 9th to Massa and 10th to Ricciardo.

Hamilton attempts to steal away with pole but he can’t get it done. Nico Rosberg will start from pole position at the Spanish Grand Prix! Lewis is probably not feeling so #blessed right about now.


So that wraps up qualifying. The Spanish GP is going to kick off with the line-up looking like this:


Predictions for tomorrow? Mad battle between Rosberg and Lewis for the win. There is potential for the Mercedes to get caught up in their own scraps allowing the Williams and Ferraris to bridge the gap. That being said I am not counting the Toro Rosso lads out as they’ve proven that they are here to throw down. It should be good! Tune in tomorrow for the live blog.


Honourable mention goes to Daniil Kyvat for out qualifying his team mate for the first time (my Australian citizenship may be revoked for saying that).