We have come to the end of the 2015 season and although I bitch and moan about being up at all hours of the morning to watch this ridiculous sport I’m always depressed when this time of the year rolls around.
Plus I’m pretty hungover right now which is not helping at all.
LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO ONE LAST TIME!!!
Lap 1: Crash in the first corner between Maldonado and Alonso.
Rosberg holds his lead followed by teammate Hamilton and Raikkonen in third.
Lap 2: Wheel to wheel insanity! Kvyat being pushed wide off the track, Vettel may have made contact with Verstappen, there are cars going three abreast around corners together. This is some good shit!
Lap 3: Maldonado retires as a result of the crash but Alonso has managed to pit.
Lap 4: Kvyat nips through and overtakes Bottas to take 9th.
Lap 6: Ricciardo takes 5th off Hulkenberg, they play a bit of leap frog but he makes it stick.
Lap 8: Pit stops galore for mid field!
Lap 9: Pit stop collision between Bottas and Button! Bottas has lost one half of his front wing and will have to do a lap and come back in because that thing is stuffed. Luckily for Button he’s already pulling into the pit to repair any damage to his car.
Lap 11: Front runners pitting. No crashes. 👍
Lap 12: Bottas receives a 5 second pit stop penalty.
Hamilton rejoins after pitting between Ferrari’s of Vettel in 3rd and Raikkonen in 5th.
Ricciardo gets ahead of Ericsson and goes into full honeybadger mode.
Lap 14: Hamilton overtakes Vettel and takes back 2nd.
Lap 15: Here come the Toro Rosso’s! Sainz overtakes Ericsson for 11th before the Sauber driver pits and Verstappen moves up into 12th.
Lap 16: Vettel yields to Raikkonen who is now running in third thank you Jesus.
Lap 19: Verstappen overtakes his teammate Sainz to move up into 11th, apparently it was a team order.
Lap 20: Maaaaaassive lock up by Verstappen. He basically created his own smoke screen. Instantly regrets it.
Lap 24: Vettel finally pits. Not much else to report at this stage.
Lap 25: Verstappen takes 14th from Ericsson.
Lap 27: Hulkenberg takes 11th from Nasr. Radio message from Alonso which sounds like he wants to retire early. DON’T DO IT FERNANDO, STAY STRONG AND STAY IN THE RACE.
Lap 28: Hamilton is closing in on Rosberg in the fight for the lead.
Crofty and Brundle are promising me an interesting end to the race and I’ll be deeply offended if they’ve lied to me.
Lap 33: Goddammit Ferrari learn how to do fucking pit stops for Raikkonen. A stuck wheel spits Raikkonen out behind Vettel and Alonso, the latter he overtakes quickly.
Lap 36: Raikkonen back in third! Cheers for moving out the way yet again Vettel.
Lap 40: Vettel pits for the final time with typically no bloody issues. Rejoins 6th behind ex teammate Ricciardo.
Lap 41: Hamilton typically decides to question his team, wants to stay out and try to win on old tires. Team tells him to shut the fuck up and pit, which he does.
Vettel ahead of Ricciardo, chasing Perez who is in 4th.
Lap 43: Lovely overtake by Button on Nasr for 13th. That’s about as much on track action the McLaren driver has had today.
Lap 45: Vettel takes 4th from Perez.
Lap 46: I lied before, hella good action between Button and Verstappen with Button defending like the world champion he is but losing 12th to the young gun.
Lap 48: Massa has overtaken Kvyat to put himself in 8th.
Three laps to go!
Lap 53: Grosjean moves into the points by overtaking Sainz. Goes on the hunt for Kvyat and more points.
Lap 54: Grosjean does the thing and moves up into 9th.
Final lap of the season!
Lap 55: The race looks like it’s in the bag for Rosberg despite vibration with his rear wheel.
Rosberg has won the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix followed by teammate Hamilton and my main man Raikkonen in third! YAS MARINA, YAS.
Vettel fourth, Perez fifth, Ricciardo sixth, Hulkenberg seventh, Massa eighth, Grosjean ninth and Kvyat tenth rounding out the points.
Everyone is doing donuts and it’s fucking rad. They should add donuts into F1 races somehow.
The formula one gods have smiled upon us all and given us Kimi on the podium to end the season on a high note. Thank you formula one gods, my sleep and sanity sacrifices have appeased you.
There’s a lot to look forward to next year, mostly the excuse to get drunk and write a formula one blog.
Stay strong over the break and see you back in my hometown in 2016!