Welcome to Hungary pals.
A powerful reminder this evening of what these lads are willing to sacrifice in the name of sport and entertainment as we honour the passing of the beautiful and talented Jules Bianchi.
The difficult task now lies with the boys to put thoughts of Jules out of their minds and focus on the race ahead.
LIGHTS OUT AND AWA-
Nope. Sorry. False start. We’re doing “formation lap: the sequel”.
Apparently Massa’s Williams was out of position and now he’s probably going to be in the naughty corner at some point during the race.
LIGHTS OUT AND for reals this time AWAY WE GO!!!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT BALLS WE HAVE FERRARIS IN THE LEAD!
Vettel in the lead followed by Raikkonen.
THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
HAMILTON HAS GONE OFF THE TRACK and blames Rosberg as per usual. Awful start by my homeboy Ricciardo unfortunately.
Okay so, I missed a couple of laps out of pure elation but I’m back now.
Lap 7: Vettel still leads from Raikkonen followed by Rosberg. Hulkenberg is holding 5th followed by the two Red Bulls. Perez is in 8th and Massa is now defending 9th from Hamilton who can only manage 10th.
Lap 11: Hamilton has taken 9th from Massa via some bumper car style overtaking. Valiant job by Massa defending the crap out of that place for as long as he could.
Lap 12: Kyvat is pissed about team orders to let Ricciardo through. Red Bull: we like to repeat history.
Lap 13: Hamilton has now managed to get past Perez without incident. For once I would have been happy to see Perez run into someone but alas…
Lap 14: Bottas has been released into traffic and 16th place after his pit stop and now he’s wedged between Maldonado and Ericsson.
Lap 16: These pitstops are a bit of a shit-shambles.
Lap 18: Something has come off Raikkonen’s car. Looks like part of the wing. Commentators think it’s actually the camera mount.
Lap 19: Perez and Maldonado do what they do best and gets involved in a bit of a crash. Nothing serious, rejoins the race.
Lap 21: Rosberg pits. Drama free.
Lap 22: Vettel pits. Drama free. Raikkonen leads.
Ricciardo pits and rejoins in 4th just ahead of Hamilton.
Lap 23: Raikkonen pits. Drama free.
Lap 24: Battle commences between Ricciardo and Hamilton! Ricciardo doing all Australians proud by defending Hamilton like a champion.
Lap 28: Nasr vs Massa for 16th. It’s the battle of the Filipe’s.
Lap 29: Hamilton takes 4th from Ricciardo. God dammit.
Not much to report. This is like the come down from an epic high. Kind of bored, kind of grouchy, waiting for the next hit of excitement…
Lap 37: Rosberg being told to go faster. Apparently he doesn’t get a choice in tyre unless he gets a move along. I can only assume that Rosberg isn’t psyched on this news considering he’s ahead of his teammate but not getting priority treatment.
Lap 40: Nice battle unfolding between Bottas, Hulkenberg and Kvyat.
Lap 42: Raikkonen thinks he has an issue with his engine. DO NOT BREAK MY HEART LIKE THIS FERRARI.
Lap 43: Hulkenberg has a rather large crash into the tyre barrier and the virtual safety car has been deployed. Debris on the track.
Woah the replay shows Hulkenberg’s front wing literally just fell off his Force India.
Safety car is out. FUCK.
Raikkonen has lost his kinetic motor, meaning he can still race but with seriously compromised performance. DOUBLE FUCK.
I have completely covered the entire range of emotions known to human kind throughout this race and we’re only on lap 46. This sport will potentially be the death of me.
Safety car in this lap.
Here we go again…
Vettel holds the lead, Rosberg takes 2nd from Raikkonen. Hamilton hits Ricciardo like a dick. Bottas gets a puncture. Ricciardo in his damaged Red Bull rolls past Raikkonen to take 3rd.
Hamilton has to suck on a drive through penalty for crashing into my homeboy Ricciardo. Sorry not sorry.
Lap 53: KIMI RAIKKONEN, KING OF ALL DRIVERS, PULLS INTO THE PITS, RESTARTS HIS FERRARI AND REJOINS THE RACE BECAUSE KIMI IS THE EMBODIMENT OF SISU.
aaaaaaaaand that noble act didn’t fix shit so I’m going to cry.
Lap 56: Raikkonen has retired. I give up. I am so done.
Lap 58: Vettel, Rosberg and Ricciardo are all in it to win it. I’m cheering for all of them at this point. Mostly Ricciardo. Go you good thing.
Lap 62: Sainz retires from the Hungarian GP.
Lap 64: RICCIARDO AND ROSBERG COLLIDE! Ricciardo damages his front wing and Rosberg has one hell of a puncture.
Holy hell this race is a kaleidoscope of drama. If you meet a Hungarian please shake there hand for me. Most epic race of the season by far.
Vettel crosses the line to win the Hungarian Grand Prix followed by KYVAT AND RICCIARDO. I’m not even mad, I’m simply stunned.
Seriously, what the hell just happened…
You know what, I think Jules would have loved that kind of race and just maybe he blessed us with one hell of a show.